The Night St Andrews Sank
by HelloDolly7934
Summary: The town of St Andrews, on its maiden voyage to America, encounters trouble. But there's also some forbidden love afoot. And dinosaurs. THIS IS DEDICATED TO MY IDOL RACHAEL HAPPY BIRTHDAY : )


**The Night St Andrews Sank**

You may have heard of it, the mystical island of St Andrews. What you may not know is that St Andrews was, in fact, a real place, home to thousands of innocent beings. This is the tragic story of loss and lust one cold April night in 1912.

The Not So Great Kingdom of Dundee had finally pressured St Andrews to detach itself from Fife, and traverse the great seas so that it may return the scores of Americans back to whence they came. It is said that in any given lecture, an American would raise his or her hand and scream a nonsensical screech. Moreover, if you venture into the St Andrews shaped hole that now remains, you may be able to still hear the echoes of those screams, now merged into one dulcet tone. If you think that is a chilling thought, then reposition your minds, my friends. For it was 1912, and the School of Biology had nothing better to do than to clone masses of dinosaurs. St Andrews had become, you could say, a park of Jurassic proportions and Titanic consequences. A culture of segregation had slowly formed between the dinosaurs and the students. Because of this, during the trip across the seas, most dinosaurs were confined to Third Class, spending their time in now infamous death traps, like the hall of Jean Berné. The students, however, roamed the streets freely. It was a sad culture.

The ship had been floating across the seas for a number of days, and the entertainment was underway. Located in a parking lot was a place called Venue 1, and the evening's entertainment was a fashion show. Watching with a heavy heart was a young man called Jack. After being discarded from the royal ranks (he didn't get into Oxford), he was now a meagre resident of Third Class. He was still really hot though, even with that 90s haircut. But his heart lifted when he saw the forbidden fruit walking the runway. Her name was Rose. She was the only genetically modified dinosaur on board who was a member of First Class, and had risen the social ranks to become a social… well, a social barosaurus. It was a strange thing to happen, but she was a very special dinosaur. Her slender neck was draped in the finest silk, her long tail uncovered, floating with grace behind her as she walked the runway. To Jack, she was the image of perfection. He was into some pretty freaky stuff, though. Seriously, don't look at his search history. But it was love at first sight. Forbidden love.

But when Rose was walking down the runway, her tiny brain was filled with such sorrow. All she could see around her was people. People who were born into a world which accepted them without question. People who could fit into red trousers. People who weren't dinosaurs. With a sultry roar, she whisked her way outside of the venue, and galloped (dinosaurs galloped) down to the end of the floating town, where the Travellator overlooked a massive drop into the roaring seas. Jack could see in her weirdly small eyes that there was something wrong, and he would stop at nothing to find out exactly what, so he followed her through the dark alleys. Or maybe he was just being creepy, I don't know.

With tears droppings into the ocean, Rose clambered over the side of the town and clutched onto the end of the Travellator with her muscular tail. "Stop!" she heard a voice scream, running towards her "Don't jump!"

She turned her head around towards Jack. "But I can't jump, I'm a dinosaur (dinosaurs didn't jump)".

"Rose, I know who you are, you're beautiful!"

"But I am a mere dinosaur, I will never be like those people on the runway"

"Rose, even my really great physique cannot pull you back up onto the ship. But you must return, never in my life have I seen such a beautiful female. Never in my life have I wished to embrace anyone with such passion. You are welcome in my heart, and I hope that I am welcome in one of yours (dinosaurs had multiple hearts). My name is Jack, dear Rose, and I love you. And I am aroused."

Flinging herself back onto land, Rose looked Jack in the eyes and smized, before sashaying away. With a glance behind her, she bellowed "Meet me for a coffee at Taste. Tomorrow at 11am."

The coffee they enjoyed was good, and never had two people enjoyed each other's company to a greater extent. They ran down Hope Street, high on the caffeine, and soon found themselves in Rose's bedroom. "What is this place?" Jack asked.

"Dear Jack, this place is called Salliéz. This is where the most affluent in town live, where we dine in red gowns and pretend that our boarding school in Surrey resembled real life"

"Never has such a beautiful place existed! What shall we do, my sweet?"

"Jack, I've never asked this before…"

"Ask away, I'll do anything"

"Jack, I want you to paint me. I want you to paint me like one of your MakinTosh girls."

It was a matter of hours before you could hear the giggles and roars of a young couple in love exploring St Andrews. A kebab-stained hoof print was seen to be smeared down the steamed-up window of Dervish. Copulation. Sex. Weird kinky dinosaur sex. Soon enough, they had climbed up St Regulus tower, at the ruins of the old cathedral. "Look at the view, sweet Rose"

"I can see the sea for miles! And look at that beautiful iceberg!"

And with a crash, the iceberg hit the floating town with more force than that time that guy poured champagne over his head. A gaping hole was created in the side of St Andrews, and Rose and Jack knew that this spelt trouble. "We must go warn everyone" Rose screamed, clambering down the steps, followed by a worried Jack.

After running for a while, they saw a policeman in the distance. Jack ran with all his might towards him.

"Help us! Get the lifeboats! We're sinking! Real problems!"

The policeman looked disgusted at the young man "is that… is that…" he looked towards Jack's trembling hand "AN OPEN BOTTLE OF BEER?".

Within a matter of minutes, Jack had been dragged away from Rose and handcuffed to the stairs in the library. With panicked students running out to escape, Jack felt that he could not ask for help because of some really massive and annoying 'SILENT' signs. 'It's not 1984 yet', he thought.

Meanwhile, there was commotion as people had started to panic. Someone even put a plant pot on a roundabout. North Street had begun to flood, and the water was seeping its way into the library. Rose was distraught, and soon saw that there were not enough lifeboats. There was a strict policy of women and geography students first, but Rose could not bear the thought of leaving her beloved behind. In a daze, she rushed past all of the Madras students hanging outside of Tesco, and headed to the library. The waters were rising with an aggressive force, but she managed to wade through to locate him. With a massive swish of her tail, she knocked down the 'SILENT' sign, which conveniently severed the handcuffs from Jack's hands.

"Quick! Climb on!" She screamed, pulling jack onto her back. In the distance they could see the last lifeboat being boarded. They still had time. They could still make it.

"Oh shoot" said Rose

"What is it? Be quick!"

"I've lost my matriculation card in the flood since coming in here to save you. Now I can't buzz out because I already forgot it three times this semester. Let us out please!"

"No can do" The receptionist sneered.

And in that moment, they saw the final lifeboat slip away into the distance. They were now stuck. So they used Jack's card because he actually had it on him, which they should have done in the first place.

Running to the end of the Travellator, the floods were collecting. They climbed onto the other side of the grating, and St Andrews finally snapped in half. As they hurtled towards the water, Jack held tightly onto Rose. Hopefully dinosaurs would float (dinosaurs didn't float). Soon enough, they had been engulfed by the masses of ice-cold water, but had managed to clutch on to each other.

"We need something to float on" Jack screamed.

"Look! It's the Lizard door, we can float on that!"

"Um how about something else?"

So they searched for a bit longer and found another door, which Rose took up all by herself because she was quite large. Jack clung to her face to gather warmth (dinosaurs were warm in their face).

They knew that this could be it. This could be the last moment that either of them spent on this world, and soon enough, the bodies around them were growing silent.

"Rose, I love you"

"I love you too, Jack. You're so beautiful"

"Rose, my love. Let me confess my sins to you"

"Okay my dear, please do"

"Rose…" Jack shivered and wept "I cheated on Training in Good academic Practice"

Shocked and disgusted, Rose flung her neck, and watched as the tiny man flew into the distance, and drowned in the freezing cold water.

Soon, she was saved by a lifeboat, and got old and threw a necklace into the water to resemble something.

The end.


End file.
